School Session

pardon the interruption

There seems to be this trend of Churches with "real" in their mission statement but I have to say when I walked into these Churches real was the last thing I thought. As a new person you get to see a lot. Some I liked, some I loved, most I was disappointed. Disappointed not just in one Church but the Church as a whole. The unwelcoming quiet that greets you upon arrival, the people gathered in their groups huddled around each other not looking to invite anyone new to their group, the ONE person out of hundreds that care to welcome you into their Church family. My mind starts to play "If we are the Body" by Casting Crowns

We are a family you cannot miss, we stick out in each Church we visit. With five kids under the age of 8 we are hard to ignore. Our kids don't want to go to Children's activities quite yet and rightly so, I like to have them warm up and so we take up a whole row in most Churches. Our kids tend to have one or two moments where they get wiggly and at times whisper sort of loud. You know the "Mom is it over yet?". On one occasion, at a Church we visited my youngest was having difficulty being quiet and bothering this young lady about my age in front of us. She shook her head at me and I felt shame and judged.  Maybe I should of gotten up and taken him out. I am use to trying to concentrate with a 2 year old distracting me. As a Mom it hurt though, as a child of God it hurt worse. I wanted so bad to be fed, to have a chance to worship, the freedom of knowing the people surrounding me in the pews welcomed my children and welcomed how I am trying to raise them. In Christ. My soul was thirsty. My soul already jaded from this past year. The hurt I carry from the hardships. I am sure it was an isolated incident. I am sure this woman didn't represent her Church as a whole yet she did. She may have not even known Christ yet still this is impression I came away with that day. A Church unwelcoming of little Children. Unwelcoming of a Mom trying to do her best to find a Church in a new town. Didn't Jesus say in Luke to let the Children come to him?

Luke 18:15-17 One day some parents brought their little children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But when the disciples saw this, they scolded the parents for bothering him. Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.”

How am I to feel invited into a Church if my children are unwelcome? The 'real' I am looking for is in the seats of the congregation. The Authenticity of people caring, sharing, showing Christ to me. What if I had been dressed in rags? piercings and tattoos all over my body?  My real is so much more than a Church calling itself real, real preaching, real worship, real reaching out. The real Church I am looking for is one I walk in and feel welcome and one where they don't mind a 30 something year old women bringing her five kids into the "adult" service. A real Church would cheer me on, a real Church would offer help. A real Church would offer the child a glimpse of Jesus. Offer me Jesus.

So if you see me and my family come into your Church. Welcome us. Know that we are looking for so much more than how the worship goes, how the preaching is, having a service go off without a hitch. Jesus had a way of ministering to those that were an inconvenience to him. That is what we need to do as well. That is what this experience taught me. Pardon the interruption, pardon the inconvenience, look beyond the circumstance to the person. My one prayer "Lord help me show you. Let them see Jesus."

from grace to restoration

 So apparently I was going with the trend before I knew it was the in trend. Last year my one word was Grace. God taught me so much in 2013 about His grace and how I am an a extension of that grace to others. This year I am making a scrapbook about 2014 and the word I chose REstore. I picked restore for a lot of reasons but mostly because my soul has been battered and going through a crisis of faith and is dire need of restoration from my Savior. 

The end of 2013 brought much financial hardship for my family and we face financial struggles into 2014. With a house in Illinois unrented and not being able to pay certain bills, health insurance woes, and a drastic cut in salary our finances need restored but that is just a small portion of what has burdened my heart but you can pray for that if you wish.

I won't list the whole grand list of things that need restored in my life. My biggest need for restoration is my spiritual life. Since the rape of my sister it was like God took me and placed me on the outside of the Christian community(Church)  giving me a look at what unsaved people see. It is not pretty and I struggle. I struggle to even want to be involved in Church again. My soul cries "restore me Jesus! restore my sister. restore my family"
I took the picture of the purple flower above last year during our time at the condo. It reminds me of Spring and Spring always reminds me of life after quiet, life even after death. Spring to me symbolizes the word restore.

But Joseph said to them, "Do not be afraid, for am I in God's place? 20"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. Genesis 50:19-20

For all the evil that has happened in the last year and a half to me and my family. The gossip, the rumors, being let down by the Church, judgements from family, these things meant to harm or the things that had good intentions but did more harm than good. I desire God to restore them, take my hurt and turn it into something beautiful. To repair the damage as only the Lord can, because I believe he can, and this year I believe he will.