We finally made it!

We are in a temporary apartment about 30 miles from San Antonio until April but we are a family again seeing each other every night and have our own space well small space but a lot bigger than that small room at my parents.

We are getting adjusted to the big city, Eric is already so I have a bit of catching up to do. Of course the first thing we did was take the kids to the Alamo. Since Eric works downtown we have free parking on the weekends and his building is not to far away.

Tomorrow starts back to school for us. I am still homeschooling Grace and Jonah and will continue the rest of the year due to all the moving and hopefully with the last move being in April. A much much happier and content Carissa...

2013 Life Update

Now that the Holiday hustle and bustle is over I am going to really try to keep this blog updated more. Hopefully. January 2nd the Lord answered our prayer for renters. The kids and I finally get to move further south and be with Eric and live as a family again. We will be living in a temporary space, a two bedroom furnished condo, until our house is built. It really is a vacation condo but we were blessed to find they also did month to month for what is called winter Texans. Apparently there are alot of older folks that use the area in the winter to live. Our house should be done some time in April and we will move again then. 3 moves in a short time!

 I am totally excited about our new house and being able to follow the progress. They broke ground on it mid Decembe. On December 23rd the last time I was down in San Antonio the plumbing was in place.

This is part of our backyard. art of city living is giving up space. Native San Antonio people tell me outdoor time is for Winter months because of the heat in the Spring and Summer. It is going to be quite a change moving to a tropical climate.

The house is a two story and 2900 sq feet! It will feel like a mansion to us!

April can't get here soon enough but for now I am praising God that the kids and I finally are able to join Eric in San Antonio and start looking for a church and exploring our new hometown.

Saying goodbye

This past week we had to say goodbye to our beloved dog Taylor. Taylor came to us right after Eric and I moved to Illinois in the first year of our marriage. She was the best dog and loved by all. She was so gentle with kids, never knew a stranger and was in heaven just to be rubbed. The move to Texas proved to be to much stress for her old age and she was in a great deal of pain due to a tumor on her spleen that ruptured. Even though she was in so much pain she never complained. She was amazingly smart she could take a bowl full of cereal and milk off the table to the floor(so she could eat it) without spilling. She could also open the gate of chain link fences with her nose. She was awesome and we dearly loved her. She was my pal, my friend, and in a lot of ways besides my kids one of the best things I found after moving from Texas to Illinois. Taylor was special. The kind of dog that leaves you a better person because of knowing her. Yeah I know that is a cheesy remark but it is true. She was truly a part of our family and saying goodbye was one of the hardest things we've had to do. The grief we feel is real. She is and will be greatly missed.

December

This move has been nothing what we imagined. When Eric told me he felt God moving him on I pictured us as a family in a home of our own in Texas. Instead we still remain a part. He in San Antonio and the kids and I here in central Texas three hours away. It is getting close to three months. Frustration and unmet expectations visit me each day. I didn't sign up for this. I didn't sign up to be raising 5 children on my own. I didn't get married so that I could live a part from my spouse. If I wanted to do that Eric could of stayed in the military but being together after his 13 month deployment to Korea during our engagement was enough for us. This is not what I dreamed of when I dreamt of moving back to Texas. This is not what is best for our family and I wonder if we have made a big mistake. Mentally I am not doing well. Insomnia and anxiety plague me. I want to go home. I want my own home. I want to live as a family again. I want to sleep with my husband.

The kids are growing

The Most Wonderful time of the year

It's suppose to be the most wonderful time of the year. It is my favorite time of the year. This year I am afraid will be different. All our family traditions and things we use to look forward to are put on hold because we have no home. It's been 7 weeks since we arrived in Texas. Our house IS finally on the market as of this week but the kids and I are still stuck living with my family until it's rented. There has been many comments made to me about needing to be thankful you have family taking you in, this is just a season, try to find something to do to make the time pass quicker. It's like pouring salt on an open wound. Yes it is in fact just a season but it doesn't change the fact that this season is rather stressful. I have threatened more than once to go back to Illinois and live in my empty home until someone rents it. Sharing a room with five kids and dogs has not been easy and it sure isn't fun. The kids schedule is messed up so most days they are whiny and sleep deprived not to mention missing their Dad. My protector and spiritual leader is not present and I am feeling lots of spiritual attacks. So I am whiny. So I may sound ungrateful. At least I am honest. Don't ever take for granted being in your own home, running things your way, kids having their own space, you having your own space, you having your own bathroom, a mess you can clean up when you want to, people coming over only if you invite them. You know things like that. Maybe this year I will be scrooge.

Stressfully exhausted

I don't have a lot of exciting things to write about. It's mostly the same. Not much change since my last post. Still living with my parents in central Texas while Eric works in San Antonio. Still don't have the Illinois house on the market. That has been one stress after the other. If you think about it pray for us. Our whole living situation revolves around the house being rented. I have been fighting a lot of my depression symptoms again and my family around me fails to understand that. The one person in my life, my husband, who understands me, and loves me through all my issues is gone and in a lot of ways he is the glue that holds me together. It's hard to remain focused and encouraged right now. I feel pulled in every direction imaginable. The expectations of family members is tough to deal with. Sharing my opinions seems to do more damage than good which is why I am here writing. I need a space, my own space. My own environment where I can freely express how I feel and what I am dealing with without the fear of angry rebuttal or hurting someones feelings. My expectations have not been met and that makes me angry. We've been here 4 weeks and our house still sits empty and not on the market because of issues with the property management company. Yeah it is probably all trivial things to you but it's ok. The recent events of my life have been intensely stressful on me, to the point this week I thought I might check into a mental hospital. I am exhausted. I am tired of stepping on toes, real toes. I am in a valley. I suppose I am learning whatever God is trying to get me to learn. Servanthood maybe? I am not sure yet. One thing is for sure change and I aren't friends and I am a lot weaker than I thought. I don't mean that to be negative but as factual. I am an intense introvert who thrives on space and is easily exhausted by external things. Eric and I got to spend a night in a free hotel together this past weekend. We had an appointment for our design for the house we are building(which is another thing that if the house in Illinois doesn't rent we will lose the house we are building) I was asleep by 8. I can't think of another time I had been so exhausted except right after the twins were born. Hopefully not to much longer here. I am so eager to get an apartment or something and be a family and start exploring our new home town but until the house in IL is rented well we are stuck. I am closing it out. It's Sunday night and I only have a few more hours with Eric before he wakes me up early in the morning to say goodbye for the week. Monday's always require lots of coffee.