Bust a Myth: All reproductive endocrinologists are the same.

It had been almost six months since I had been to Dr. W's office. Our last visit he released me into the hands of my OB thinking that this baby would be our take home baby. He was wrong.  Our loss happened about a month after my last visit with him when we saw the tiny heartbeat on the ultrasound screen.

All the numbers looked good, the baby looked good, everything was going according to plan. After my miscarriage my husband and I took a break from trying. We were exhausted emotionally and physically, we just needed some time.

So there I sat waiting in his office yet again for another ultrasound. This time to check follicles so we could do another cycle.

He walked in with tears in his eyes and the softest voice and said "I'm so sorry."

Three words that meant SO much to me.

No one was saying anything and if they did it was the same thing over and over. There would be other babies, you are young, you have plenty of time. His tears were a balm to my aching heart and his words a reminder that someone got it. Someone understood.

Someone saw my baby and valued the few weeks of life we shared. A Doctor. A Specialty doctor. A far cry from the OB that called my baby an embryo and left me feeling cold and bitter. There were no overused sentiments. He truly understood.

He will always hold a special place in my heart. For a Doctor to show emotion was a first for me. Usually the doctors I've come across have been cold and crass. Not this man. He is proof that not all doctors are unfeeling and unsympathetic. He valued me and more importantly he valued the life I carried even if I only carried the life for a few weeks.

Infertility 101

April 24-30th Is National Infertility Awareness Week if you would like more information please click here

Jesus loves mad guys.

Jonah and I have been having a lot of conversations lately on loving others. This is the boy who told me last year "Mom, I love you, but only on Tuesday, Thursday, and Fridays". He's been into Scooby Doo lately so I think that has something to do with our conversations. His questions normally come as I am tucking him into bed. "Mom" he'll say "I love everybody."
I laugh on the inside and ask him "Jonah do you love even mad guys?(also known as bad guys)"
"I don't know" he'll reply thinking "Jesus loves mad guys."
"Yes Jesus loves mad guys" I reply "Jesus tells us to love mad guys too."
"Mom some mad guys are scary but Jesus loves them too. I love everybody. I'm like Jesus."

What a refreshing reminder of the way I am suppose to love others. There was no judging, no prejudice, just an innocent sweet boy wanting to love others and be like Jesus. I would like to take credit and say he is just like his Mom but I can't only my Jesus could of fashioned him that way.

 

Yeah I am a goober

Last night before bed there was a news commercial on about when the live coverage of the royal wedding would start. I just happened to mention to Eric that I needed to set the DVR and he looked at me Are you serious? he asked. The man has been married to me for almost nine years and has known me for almost twelve you would think he would realize by now he married a women who is completely in love with love and current events. He also knows of my love for Julie Lessman novels so I am really not sure where his mind was and why it was so surprising that I wanted to watch the wedding. Just because my attire is mostly sweats, t-shirts, and no make-up I am and always will be a girl who loves romance. So come on confess what romantic thing do you love? I really want to indulge with someone...Will you be watching the Royal Wedding?

Infertility Myth Busters

Resolve is hosting a Myth Busters for National Infertility Awareness Week and I thought I would address a myth or two. There are many myths I could write about your to young to be worried about having kids yeah heard that ALOT! Just relax and you'll get pregnant um no amount of relaxing is going to cure my PCOS. I know what you are thinking Carissa you have five kids what on earth are you writing about infertility for? You see that statement seems to be the biggest myth of all. Sure I am a Mom now but it doesn't mean my infertility still doesn't affect me. For one PCOS(Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) is a constant health concern, there is no cure. Not only does it make getting pregnant hard it also increases the risk of miscarriage and diabetes. And if those things aren't enough some women with PCOS have to deal with gross things like hairy bodies, skin tags, acne, and weight issues FOREVER! The weight issues and hair part are my favorite. I mean because I want to be like my husband and shave me face. Putting all attempts at humor aside, the bottom line is PCOS is a lifelong condition and the myth that once you have a child or two cures you from infertility is completely false.

Garden Planting

Our raised beds are coming a long beautifully. I am so proud of Eric, he has become such a handy husband to have. I planted some early plants this morning cucumbers, chives, cilantro, basil and oregano. I cannot wait until my tomatoes, peppers and cucumbers are ready to eat! YUMMO! Fresh salsa, fresh salads, oh my! My mouth is watering all ready.

The little fellow is Jake. Remember him? The guy who ran away from home then came back a month later. Obviously  my beds have a mix of soil and mulch.

Dance Party

Yes it's true I am still in love with New kids on the Block. I know, I know, I am way to old for that. My love affair started when I was ten when I heard Joey sing "Please don't go girl". Oh my! I still get flutters thinking about it. I love a good boy band just as I love a good teen romance movie. I suppose it is what keeps me young at heart. I still enjoy turning the music up loud in the car and I admit I have taught my kids to shake their booties. Matter of fact our booty shaking dance parties seem to one of the kids favorite activities. I wonder if that is why Kerith sings "Jingle Bells" at the top of her lungs while we are in the car. I hope I am able to have more dance parties with my kids. I love to dance with them as much as they love to dance with me. Dance parties are the best funk breaker especially if you turn some Toby Mac up loud! So turn the music up loud, shake your booty, wiggle and jiggle, you are guaranteed to have a blast. I also guarantee your kids will shake their booty at an inappropriate time in the future. Ask me how I know...

An Easter we will remember

 It seems my family has more than a fair share of illnesses this year. I don't think we have had a sick free month since Titus was born. The kids were sorely disappointed because their Easter celebration was postponed due to throwing up and fevers. Not only that but it came at the heels of a very rocky weather weekend. We spent good Friday hanging out in the basement while tornadoes touched down all around us. The local channels had weather coverage on their were reports of large tornadoes on the ground. Next we heard a tornado had hit the St. Louis airport. I am not sure anyone was ready to see the destruction that Saturday morning daybreak brought. It reminded me of a tornado that hit close to my hometown an ef-5 tornado that wiped out neighborhoods and took many lives. However with these storms no one has been reported badly hurt or dead! The weather guys keep saying they don't know how it is possible but we know WHO controls these things. God! I saw people who have nothing left but the clothes of their backs and each other. That puts my whole sickness complaints into perspective.